Letters to You 1.2

Dear Dad,

Ten years is a long time. It is an entire decade. I struggle to remember your voice tone. I tend to forget the way you smiled. But I remember the vague details about our life together. So much time has passed between now and then, and I would not even know where to begin if I would be granted one more day with you. I would probably start off by asking you what heaven is really like and if you ever can see mom and me carrying on without you. I would tell you how different my life is now. All of our pets have passed away or been sold, and the house is remodeled. All of your stuff is gone, except for small trinkets that are easily tucked away. I fear that you would come in and ask if we have totally forgotten about you.

My reply would be, “Not in the slightest,” because I find something that reminds me of you every day. Extraordinary moments happen to me and I just wish I could call you that night and tell you all about it. Certain moments, I just wish you were there physically. I wish you could have walked me across the court on my senior night and heard me speak at my graduation ceremony. I wish that you could have helped me pick out my new school and move me into the dorm. But instead of me leaving your nest, you just never came home that one October evening, and it still haunts me to this day.

If I had 24 hours with you, I’d show you my favorite books, and watch Elf one more time with you. I’d eat Christmas cookies with you in the pantry and take you to Westgate for dinner. And at the end of the night, I’d want to watch the sunset with you and tell you that most times, I think of you and that maybe you helped paint that just for me. I know it is probably selfish of me to think that way, but it’s hard to wrap my head around the fact that you will not walk me down the aisle on my wedding day, and my kids will not ever know their grandpa. It is just hard to think that this is not a temporary situation. But ten years later, and you’re still gone. And sadly that is not ever going to change.

I’ll always be yours, even after dead did us part,

Your Little Girl